Part III: Sight-seeing and Fun

Sorry this comes so late. I have been messing around on my other blog, hiddenandseeking.blogspot.com. Hidden&Seeking is a light and random blog about myself and my frustrations, fun times, and life in general. Check it out if ya wanna :)

BUT this blog is about the big changes. Like a missions trip to NYC. Speaking of which...
We had so many activities mixed in with all of our serving opportunities. We went to the beach and stepped in the ocean, had a fun experience at Coney Island, went to the top of the Empire State building, ran around the streets of NY (and when I say ran, I mean it in the literal sense!), stood and stared in the middle of Times Square, and had some amazingly fun meal times! I didn't get pictures of everything we did, but here are some pictures I did get (or borrowed from other SMITErs  :):

At the beach in the evening (from like 9 to 11ish?)

Coney Island :)

Holding the guy's stuff while they go for a swim... in the disgusting water lol :)

One of our SMITErs actually made close to $4 while playing and singing his mini-guitar :P

Empire State Building!

View from our first Ferry trip. NYC bright at night :)

Me in the middle of Time's Square. I got lotz of other pics here, but they aren't on my computer yet...

My favorite meal time of the whole trip~ @ Carmines

The SMITE team eating on the way down. What a happy bunch :)

These pictures don't give the trip and the memories justice. But they do give a tiny glimpse into what those days of the trip held. I don't think that I have ever laughed so hard so much, cried so easily, learned so much, taught so much, reached outside my comfort zone so far, dug so deep into myself, or felt so at one with the work of God as I did those two weeks. One of the best weeks of my life. God is so good!!!

Part II: Vacation Bible School

Unfortunately, I only brought my camera the last 2 days, but here are some of the pictures that I DID get :). God did some amazing things!

Not only did several kids accept Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, but God worked in each of the SMITEr's lives as well. We got to teach, share testimonies, work with the kids, play with the kids, talk with the kids, get soaked by the kids (water balloon fight :), and see a different way of life. I was amazed at how open the kids were to us- total strangers who were willing to talk to them and play with them. God broke my heart for these kids and broke down the barrier of fear I had to sharing the Gospel. During the park ministry we had in the afternoons (inviting kids to the VBS, sharing Wordless Book bracelets, showing them God's love), I had the opportunity to go through the Gospel story to two different girls. I will NEVER forget the feeling of joy, happiness, fullness of heart, that I felt when doing this. Makes me wonder why I haven't shared it back home~ it really was the only thing that I have ever done that made me feel full. God did many things to my heart during these weeks in New York.

More later: Part III: Sightseeing and Fun

Experience of a Lifetime

I have been staring at my computer screen for a while now trying to find the words to describe my SummerMissionsInTeenEvangelism (SMITE) trip. I do not believe that there is a concise way to accomplish this...
I guess this will have to do:

{The ride down and first night}

I didn't want to go. Like, really did not want to go on the trip. I almost backed out the night before. I was nervous, NOT excited at all, worried that we didn't know what was going on, and not looking forward to working in the projects of New York. But, I was a "good Christian", and went anyway.

By the end of the trip, I was wishing I didn't have to leave.
God is pretty amazing.

The 15 hour ride to our destination~ Staten Island, New York~ was fun. I got to talk to one of my college freshman friends about my concerns with the trip. She felt the same way, but after talking through of all the wrong reasons why we didn't want to go (example: this trip is not about pleasing ourselves, but bringing glory to God), we were anticipating (instead of dreading) the week ahead and couldn't wait to see what God was going to do in, with, and through us.
The fellowship within the bus, the craziness at mealtimes, and the working together to make a tentative plan for the Vacation Bible School we were leading, are all memories in and of themselves. And the trip hadn't even begun yet.

Meal time :)

We arrived at  the Watkin's (our missionary family) house  later Monday evening. They had a beautiful 100 year old house, that we girls had the opportunity to stay in. The eight of us somewhat overtook their living and dining room areas in the evening...

I was all the way in the back, under the table lol :)

The Watkins were all so sweet and kind to our whole group. They provided us with a marvelous breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every day! May God bless them for their hospitality, godly examples, and memories that we brought back home with us!

I think I will end this post now, but I will continue with Part 2: Vacation Bible School soon. I am nowhere close to explaining all that went on in my life and in my heart the past few weeks.

So stay tuned =)

New York here I come!

I leave for NY in one hour. I know that God is going to do great things in and through me. I will write about it all when I come back. For now, I leave you with my testimony~ this is how I am going to present it to the teens we are working with. God bless!

Even at a young age, I knew enough to know that I was NOT perfect. I admitted that I had sinned- done wrong things. Around the age of four, my mom showed me in the Bible the result of our sin: Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death..." I also understood that I could do nothing to save myself, because Isaiah 64:6 says that even our most righteous deeds are as filthy rags.
But God didn't leave me in my lost and sinful state. 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 explains, "...that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: " I trusted that Jesus had taken the punishment for my sin, and believed that He made a way for me to go to heaven.
As a result of me admitting my sin, and believing that Jesus was the only way to heaven, I called on Jesus and asked Him into my heart. For the last 14 years, I have grown in my love and knowledge of Christ. He bought me with the price of His blood, and now I seek to live for Him. It isn't easy to deny myself, but it is soo worth it to live life God's way!
If you haven't already, I challenge you to take three steps to salvation in Jesus: Admit that you are a sinner, Believe that Jesus died in your place to pay for your sin, and Call on the Lord to save you. If you have accepted Christ, I then challenge you to live you life for God: obey His Word, and follow His commands. I can say from experience: God is good!

Joys of Summer

Summer is almost over. I leave for my missions trip in exactly one week, will be gone for over a week, and will start college not long after that. This summer has passed so quickly, it is hard to fathom that we are already into July! So I thought that I would reminisce over this short summer while I had a small amount of "free time".

This Summer:

I graduated from high school,

Years of hard work~ payed off with a diploma :)

I decided to change my major to Business Administration (after months of thinking it would be Medical Assisting),
I received a leadership position in my work place (more hours + more responsibility = more pay... though not by much...),
I moved into the college class at church (more people, more activities, more fun :),
I suffered the loss of a family member, but felt God's peace and comfort on a deeper, personal level,
I have met new people, made new friends, and learned many lessons from my Savior in the past few months, and,
I will be going on my first missions trip next week.

These are just the highlights of my summer. And even though each memory starts with "I", it is God Who has orchestrated, planned, led, and made these events happen. I give all the praise and glory to Him:

"Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen." ~Revelation 7:12

Praise be to my King Who has grown me, led me, helped me, comforted me, held me, and loved me, this summer. And may I continue to learn to rely fully on Him... because this fall is going to be a crazy ride!

Words of Promise

Today was my grandfather's funeral. I was blessed to be able to rest in the fact that I will see him again once more. As I was dwelling on this fact this morning, I became curious as to where exactly in Scripture do we find this promise? Thus the mini-Bible study began.

*Bible Study Time*

• ‎"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." ~ 1 Corinthians 15:55-57:  The grave is not the end for the Christian. Because of Christ's sacrifice, we can have "eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"~ Romans 6:23

• ‎"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him." ~ 1 Thessalonians. 4:13-14: We have hope in Christ that we will see our loved ones who have gone before once again. We may sorrow for ourselves, but not as those who are missing God's comfort and promise~ leading to the next verse...

• ‎"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And He that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:4-5a: One glorious day, after Christ has raptured His church, there will be no more pain~ emotional or physical. The Creator of the universe Himself will wipe away our tears, and we will enter an eternity of joy with Him.

•  ‎"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28: Even through the death of a loved one, God works things together for His glory and our good. Many of Grandpa's unsaved friends heard a clear presentation of the Gospel today. Grandma and uncle have started coming to church. I felt my Savior's presence in a way unlike any other I have known. And these are just the visible ways that God has worked a sad event (on our part) for a greater good.

  There are also a few songs that are a beautiful reminder of heaven, and a comfort to me through this time. Here are the titles:

"Homesick" ~ mercyme

"Finally Home"~ mercyme

"I Can Only Imagine"~ mercyme

"Amazing Grace: My Chains Are Gone"~ Chris Tomlin

"He Is"~ Mark Schultz

"I Am"~ Mark Schultz

I have been so blessed with the songs, Scriptures, and prayers for our family! God is good!

Why do we celebrate?

Independence Day

Today we celebrate with picnics and cookouts, family get-togethers, red, white, and blue decorations, and grand firework displays. We sing the National Anthem, pledge our allegiance to the flag, and show our patriotism.

But... why?

We celebrate for a deeper reason than "it's the fourth of July". We wear and decorate with red, white, and blue for more reason than the pretty color combination. Or, at least we should.

July 4th, 1776, those in the United States declared their independence from the rules and reign of England. But they did more than just declare independence: they fought for it, bled for it, died for it.

Since then courageous, self-sacrificing men and women have defended, fought for, and protected the freedoms that our nation holds so dear: freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of religion~ just to name a few.

Sadly, though, while many celebrate today with fun activities, they declare "peace not war". This disregards, disrespects, and ungratefully dismisses the sacrifices made and lives given by those who defend our nation so that we may remain free. Those who argue and protest war are those who most enjoy the freedoms those fighting in the war are protecting.

The point of this post? To remind us that while we safely enjoy the fourth festivities, we remember, thank, and honor those who protect our nation and our freedoms. May we glorify God with our actions and praise Him Who has blessed our nation.
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD; and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance." ~ Psalm 33:12

Happy Independence Day~ may we be grateful for our nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all!

Comfort through sorrow

How can you truly describe God's comfort until you experience it for yourself?

I was blessed to experience it the last few days.

But in order to truly experience His comfort, you need a trial or difficulty to understand the sweetness of His comfort: much like going through the valley makes the mountaintop so much more beautiful and grand.

Friday was a valley.

My grandpa's cancer had returned with a vengeance a few weeks ago, causing a rapid decline in his health. Thursday the nurse told us she didn't expect him to make it through the weekend. Friday morning we went to sit with him for a while. While he slept I held his hand and told him that I loved him. I fought off the urge to cry until after we told my grandma and uncle goodbye. The first step out the door and I gave in to the tears. On the way home I cried until I felt empty (not empty in a hopeless sorrow, but empty of tears and tired) but filled with God's peace.  It was such an encouragement to know that God was answering the prayers of so many that were praying for our family, in a very real and comforting way.

Saturday morning, Grandpa slipped from sleep into the arms of Jesus. When mom told me that he had passed on, I couldn't even cry. There was no reason to weep for him, because he was now free of cancer and in our Father's presence. I sat in my room for a while listening to mercyme songs "Finally Home", "I can only Imagine", "Bring the Rain", and "My Heart will Fly", surrounded by the peace and comfort of His promise, keeping in mind 2 Corinthians 5:8:  "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." I felt protected in His arms in that quiet time. I can't thank Him enough for His amazing... Person, I guess is the word.

I made it through work, only tearing up a few times~ and those tears were from my co-workers' kindness (God has blessed me with a great workplace). During break I had many encouraging texts from people at church telling me that they were praying (God has blessed me with a great church family). Throughout the day  Psalm 23:4 echoed in my mind: " Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

I know that the next few days will be hard. I won't be strong enough to face them~ but I know the One Who can. He will be "Strong enough, for the both of us".

A Parable, a Song, and a Lesson

I have said before that I have few bad days and usually enjoy my job.

Well, Sunday was a "bad" day and I had an aggravating day at work.

I had the beginning of a migraine and had a lot on my mind. I was a quieter, not-so-smiley version of myself, and was hoping that my co-workers would forgive me for my slow-ishness and complaining spirit.
I ended up having to help a someone who has tried my patience before, and Sunday was no different. I worked with an attitude, complaining the whole time in my head: I shouldn't be treated this way, I am not needed over here, I am not going to help next time they call for it, I hate this department, and, well, you get the point. I went on like this for some time, even voicing some of my complaints to another co-worker. Then-

*NEWS FLASH*

Uh, hello, but have you forgotten that you have been forgiven much, for far worse offenses than asking for help the wrong way? How often do you take your relationship with Christ for granted, ungrateful for His sacrificial death (which should have been yours), disregarding His will for your life, denied and forsaken Him for your selfish wants? And yet, amazingly, He forgives you- overwhelmingly, abundantly, and lovingly. Will you not forgive a co-worker who has simply asked you to help them?

   As if this revelation wasn't enough, this parable of Christ came to my mind (working of the Holy Spirit, anyone?): 

Matthew 18:23-35  KJV

  Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents (equivalent to several million dollars). But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence (equivalent to a few dollars!): and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

I was thinking about this on the way home when Chris Sligh's song, Our Love, started playing. Here is the chorus:

Oh, we're all messed up

Oh, but isn't that the point of love?

We are, we are, we are all broken people

But we've been set free and loved

We are, we are, we are the chosen people forgiven much,

So where's our love, our love, our love?

It looks kind of awkward typed out, but it is an awesome reminder that we are just like everyone else, just forgiven and called to love like our Savior.

The lesson I learned is important, and I guess I needed to receive it more than once, since God used His Word, a song, and an experience to drill it into my hard head. We are forgiven- we should  need to forgive.

Thank You, Savior, for forgiving me, teaching me, and growing me. May my this life bring You glory this week!



I have been bought!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

*Bible Study Time*

Today I really thought about this verse, trying to dissect it, digest it, understand it fully. That's when it hit me: I didn't realize that I was for sale.

This thought stopped me and made me really think. And I came to this chain of reasoning: I had sold myself to sin, dead in my trespasses (Ephesians 2:1-3), lost to the father of lies, the devil. It was my choice to be lost in my sin. I needed saving, and I didn't even know it~ but God did (Romans 5:8).

So God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, (who was willing to save me, Hebrews 12:2), to be the Perfect Sacrifice, and Payment for my sin (Romans 3:24-26).  I was bought by His innocent and holy blood, and because I have turned to Him and trusted in His work on Calvary, I BELONG to Him. My body, spirit, life, and whole are His. I am no longer my own. I never was my own. I was once captive to sin, but now -Praise His name!- I am to bring every thought and action captive to obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I have established the idea that I belong to Christ, but now what? Look back at the end of the second verse. I am to glorify God with every action and thought. That makes sense: if they belong to Him, they would glorify Him. Alas, it may make sense, but it is difficult to follow. God, in His plan, still allows us free choice, and too often I make the wrong choice. But because He lives in me (See verses at the very top of this post), I through Him have the power to make the right choice (Philippians 4:13).

So my challenge for you and myself today is this: to make the decision and conscious effort to remember and act upon these verses. We are not our own, and we need to glorify God in all that we think or do.

Fitting in isn't evertything...

I was crying.
Over something that I know isn't important, but I was giving it importance.
Fitting in.

   Looking back through my short life, I think that I have never really "fit in" any group. And looking back, I see that it didn't really affect me until high school. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and godly church where emphasis was focused more on doing right than fitting in. I never had any "BFF's", and preferred to talk to the adult leaders over kids my own age (starting in preschool, or so my mom says... I was one different child), so I know that I didn't truly care about it then.
   In high school, however, we started going to a different church. I was no longer around the teens that I grew up with. This was a much larger class, more variety of personalities, and, unfortunately, more cliques. The first year or so it was hard to get out of my shell and comfort zone. There was a handful of individual girls (God bless them) that reached out to me and got to know me. Soon (I like to think that it was my doing... because I am prideful) I was the one getting to know other girls who were not in any groups or cliques and we would group together (not exclusively, mind you) and talk. That made it a somewhat better situation, because what brought us together was the fact that we were in the same spot~ individuals not included in any special clique (are you figuring out that I highly dislike cliques?), and not "Faithies" (aka, not going to Faith Christian, and had not grown up at Faith).
   Now I am in the college class. I have yet to see any "cliques", which gives me hope. Everyone is friendly and open. BUT, after Thursday night, I wonder if I will ever feel like I belong.
   I had planned to meet 2 freshman girls for ice cream and get to know them. You know, talk about college fears, plans, and just have some fun fellowship. As my last post identifies, things don't always go as planned. Only one of the girls showed up, and another group of 7 or so college students came as well. We ended up getting a "tour" of campus, during which I felt different from everyone else and wanted to go home (I would have, but I needed someone in the group to lead me back to where my car was. It ended up being a 10 min speed walk from location to destination.).
    Now, I am not blaming it on the other students~ they were having fun and trying to show us freshmen around. My freshman friend was having a good time, so I suppose the problem lay with me. Once I got home, I was an exhausted mess, and went crying to my mom about how I never fit in.  As I prayed that night, God brought to my attention that fitting in shouldn't be my goal. I should be seeking to serve Him and others~ NOT myself (which is basically what fitting in is). I also found comfort in the fact that I am His and belong to Him. Why should I seek to find my happiness and self-worth in a group of sinful humans, when the Creator of the universe and my very own Savior claims me as His own? The next morning my mom gave me a card (I love my mom) reminding me of that fact as well as reminding me that she loves me.
  
Hmph. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Next time someone asks where I'm going to college, I should reply, "The School of Hard Knocks".

When you think ya have it all planned out...

"What are your plans for this fall?"

(for the 500th time...) "I am going to be studying Medical Assisting this fall at Ivy Tech."

      I don't know exactly how many times I have answered a form of the above question the past few months, but this has been my answer almost word-for-word. Until Monday.
      I had been laying in bed Sunday night for a while when I started freaking out about my future (I know, me freak out? Never!). I really started to feel like I had made a huge mistake in choosing my major. Thinking that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life (okay, maybe not the rest of my life... still it felt like it) in the medical field. But I kinda felt like I had no choice now.  And besides, my mom had thought that it was right, and EVERYTIME in my life when I thought that I was right and she was wrong, guess who was wrong. ME.
     The next day we were antiquing (my word for shopping antique stores), and driving around searching for a desk for my room. I wanted to have an organized space for studying in my room this fall. Riding in the car makes a comfortable place for meaningful conversations, so I told my mom that I had been second-guessing my choice of major... and she agreed with me. That surprised me. Big time.
     The result of this conversation in the car led to me making an appointment with an academic advisor tomorrow. I think that I will change my major to Business Administration. But I have learned that things don't always go as planned.
     Savior, I am asking You to guide me in this decision concerning my future. You know me WAY better than I think I know myself, and You have the perfect plan for my life. So, I am asking that You open my eyes and give me the faith I need to follow Your plan.

Another Day, Another Lesson

You would think that once you learned a lesson the hard way, you would never make that mistake again. You would be wrong.

Saturday was a difficult day. I have been blessed to not have had many difficult days this year. But, being the the kind of person that I am (the "I can do it all myself" kind of person), I was trying to do two different jobs at work, and failing miserably (unfortunately, it took a while before I saw my failure... wishful thinking?). Just when I thought that I could do it all on my own, I realized what a mess I was making of everything. This was not a joyous revelation. Trying to keep back tears, I started praying (which I should have been doing all along). God reminded me of  Matthew West's song "Strong Enough". Here are the lyrics:

 "I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won't you cover me? Lord right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us."

 

Pretty powerful reminder.

So after sending a plea heaven-ward, and after texting my mommy (thank goodness for my mom~ she can make everything seem better!), the day went a little better. I placed it in God's hands, and finally asked someone for help. And ya know what? The day ended a whole lot better than it started!

I learned my lesson. Again. Hopefully this time, it will stick: because I am going back into work today...

*You can listen to a clip of the song "Strong Enough" on the Amazon music player an the top right of this blog :)

Days of Summer

Summer...
Every kid's favorite word. Summer is the definition of free time, games, relaxation, NO school, projects, or work. Spending all day doing absolutely nothing -  and loving it. This lovely word, summer, no longer holds such wonderful things when you have just completed high school. To tell you the truth (and why wouldn't I?), I was not looking forward to this summer - for after summer comes COLLEGE (<- this is a scary word). And during summer, I was going to have to go through some, uh, interesting changes. Like join the College class, carry a new position at jcp (I do love working there, really I do... most of the time), go on my first missions trip, and officially graduate from High school (all the way in FL... that's another story). But through wise leaders, caring parents, and, of course, some deep discussions with my Savior,  I believe that I am ready to take this giant leap into the unknown... because it really is not unknown. My Lord has had this planned for me since the creation of the world. And when I think of that, well... my fear seems pretty ridiculous.

All this free time (well, it is not a gigantic amount of free time...) has me going slightly mad - as in crazy. So I began the search for summer projects... and, boy, does the verse "seek and ye shall find" come true here. I have organized and re-contact-papered our kitchen cabinets, organized all the bookshelves, cleaned out under my bed (...this was quite interesting...), and did some much needed yard work. Lots of little jobs that kind of slip by in the grand scheme of things (like, work, school, and life in general). I believe that this will be my most productive, if not busiest, summer yet.