A Parable, a Song, and a Lesson

I have said before that I have few bad days and usually enjoy my job.

Well, Sunday was a "bad" day and I had an aggravating day at work.

I had the beginning of a migraine and had a lot on my mind. I was a quieter, not-so-smiley version of myself, and was hoping that my co-workers would forgive me for my slow-ishness and complaining spirit.
I ended up having to help a someone who has tried my patience before, and Sunday was no different. I worked with an attitude, complaining the whole time in my head: I shouldn't be treated this way, I am not needed over here, I am not going to help next time they call for it, I hate this department, and, well, you get the point. I went on like this for some time, even voicing some of my complaints to another co-worker. Then-

*NEWS FLASH*

Uh, hello, but have you forgotten that you have been forgiven much, for far worse offenses than asking for help the wrong way? How often do you take your relationship with Christ for granted, ungrateful for His sacrificial death (which should have been yours), disregarding His will for your life, denied and forsaken Him for your selfish wants? And yet, amazingly, He forgives you- overwhelmingly, abundantly, and lovingly. Will you not forgive a co-worker who has simply asked you to help them?

   As if this revelation wasn't enough, this parable of Christ came to my mind (working of the Holy Spirit, anyone?): 

Matthew 18:23-35  KJV

  Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents (equivalent to several million dollars). But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence (equivalent to a few dollars!): and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

I was thinking about this on the way home when Chris Sligh's song, Our Love, started playing. Here is the chorus:

Oh, we're all messed up

Oh, but isn't that the point of love?

We are, we are, we are all broken people

But we've been set free and loved

We are, we are, we are the chosen people forgiven much,

So where's our love, our love, our love?

It looks kind of awkward typed out, but it is an awesome reminder that we are just like everyone else, just forgiven and called to love like our Savior.

The lesson I learned is important, and I guess I needed to receive it more than once, since God used His Word, a song, and an experience to drill it into my hard head. We are forgiven- we should  need to forgive.

Thank You, Savior, for forgiving me, teaching me, and growing me. May my this life bring You glory this week!



Fitting in isn't evertything...

I was crying.
Over something that I know isn't important, but I was giving it importance.
Fitting in.

   Looking back through my short life, I think that I have never really "fit in" any group. And looking back, I see that it didn't really affect me until high school. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and godly church where emphasis was focused more on doing right than fitting in. I never had any "BFF's", and preferred to talk to the adult leaders over kids my own age (starting in preschool, or so my mom says... I was one different child), so I know that I didn't truly care about it then.
   In high school, however, we started going to a different church. I was no longer around the teens that I grew up with. This was a much larger class, more variety of personalities, and, unfortunately, more cliques. The first year or so it was hard to get out of my shell and comfort zone. There was a handful of individual girls (God bless them) that reached out to me and got to know me. Soon (I like to think that it was my doing... because I am prideful) I was the one getting to know other girls who were not in any groups or cliques and we would group together (not exclusively, mind you) and talk. That made it a somewhat better situation, because what brought us together was the fact that we were in the same spot~ individuals not included in any special clique (are you figuring out that I highly dislike cliques?), and not "Faithies" (aka, not going to Faith Christian, and had not grown up at Faith).
   Now I am in the college class. I have yet to see any "cliques", which gives me hope. Everyone is friendly and open. BUT, after Thursday night, I wonder if I will ever feel like I belong.
   I had planned to meet 2 freshman girls for ice cream and get to know them. You know, talk about college fears, plans, and just have some fun fellowship. As my last post identifies, things don't always go as planned. Only one of the girls showed up, and another group of 7 or so college students came as well. We ended up getting a "tour" of campus, during which I felt different from everyone else and wanted to go home (I would have, but I needed someone in the group to lead me back to where my car was. It ended up being a 10 min speed walk from location to destination.).
    Now, I am not blaming it on the other students~ they were having fun and trying to show us freshmen around. My freshman friend was having a good time, so I suppose the problem lay with me. Once I got home, I was an exhausted mess, and went crying to my mom about how I never fit in.  As I prayed that night, God brought to my attention that fitting in shouldn't be my goal. I should be seeking to serve Him and others~ NOT myself (which is basically what fitting in is). I also found comfort in the fact that I am His and belong to Him. Why should I seek to find my happiness and self-worth in a group of sinful humans, when the Creator of the universe and my very own Savior claims me as His own? The next morning my mom gave me a card (I love my mom) reminding me of that fact as well as reminding me that she loves me.
  
Hmph. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Next time someone asks where I'm going to college, I should reply, "The School of Hard Knocks".

Another Day, Another Lesson

You would think that once you learned a lesson the hard way, you would never make that mistake again. You would be wrong.

Saturday was a difficult day. I have been blessed to not have had many difficult days this year. But, being the the kind of person that I am (the "I can do it all myself" kind of person), I was trying to do two different jobs at work, and failing miserably (unfortunately, it took a while before I saw my failure... wishful thinking?). Just when I thought that I could do it all on my own, I realized what a mess I was making of everything. This was not a joyous revelation. Trying to keep back tears, I started praying (which I should have been doing all along). God reminded me of  Matthew West's song "Strong Enough". Here are the lyrics:

 "I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won't you cover me? Lord right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us."

 

Pretty powerful reminder.

So after sending a plea heaven-ward, and after texting my mommy (thank goodness for my mom~ she can make everything seem better!), the day went a little better. I placed it in God's hands, and finally asked someone for help. And ya know what? The day ended a whole lot better than it started!

I learned my lesson. Again. Hopefully this time, it will stick: because I am going back into work today...

*You can listen to a clip of the song "Strong Enough" on the Amazon music player an the top right of this blog :)