Fitting in isn't evertything...

I was crying.
Over something that I know isn't important, but I was giving it importance.
Fitting in.

   Looking back through my short life, I think that I have never really "fit in" any group. And looking back, I see that it didn't really affect me until high school. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and godly church where emphasis was focused more on doing right than fitting in. I never had any "BFF's", and preferred to talk to the adult leaders over kids my own age (starting in preschool, or so my mom says... I was one different child), so I know that I didn't truly care about it then.
   In high school, however, we started going to a different church. I was no longer around the teens that I grew up with. This was a much larger class, more variety of personalities, and, unfortunately, more cliques. The first year or so it was hard to get out of my shell and comfort zone. There was a handful of individual girls (God bless them) that reached out to me and got to know me. Soon (I like to think that it was my doing... because I am prideful) I was the one getting to know other girls who were not in any groups or cliques and we would group together (not exclusively, mind you) and talk. That made it a somewhat better situation, because what brought us together was the fact that we were in the same spot~ individuals not included in any special clique (are you figuring out that I highly dislike cliques?), and not "Faithies" (aka, not going to Faith Christian, and had not grown up at Faith).
   Now I am in the college class. I have yet to see any "cliques", which gives me hope. Everyone is friendly and open. BUT, after Thursday night, I wonder if I will ever feel like I belong.
   I had planned to meet 2 freshman girls for ice cream and get to know them. You know, talk about college fears, plans, and just have some fun fellowship. As my last post identifies, things don't always go as planned. Only one of the girls showed up, and another group of 7 or so college students came as well. We ended up getting a "tour" of campus, during which I felt different from everyone else and wanted to go home (I would have, but I needed someone in the group to lead me back to where my car was. It ended up being a 10 min speed walk from location to destination.).
    Now, I am not blaming it on the other students~ they were having fun and trying to show us freshmen around. My freshman friend was having a good time, so I suppose the problem lay with me. Once I got home, I was an exhausted mess, and went crying to my mom about how I never fit in.  As I prayed that night, God brought to my attention that fitting in shouldn't be my goal. I should be seeking to serve Him and others~ NOT myself (which is basically what fitting in is). I also found comfort in the fact that I am His and belong to Him. Why should I seek to find my happiness and self-worth in a group of sinful humans, when the Creator of the universe and my very own Savior claims me as His own? The next morning my mom gave me a card (I love my mom) reminding me of that fact as well as reminding me that she loves me.
  
Hmph. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Next time someone asks where I'm going to college, I should reply, "The School of Hard Knocks".