A Parable, a Song, and a Lesson

I have said before that I have few bad days and usually enjoy my job.

Well, Sunday was a "bad" day and I had an aggravating day at work.

I had the beginning of a migraine and had a lot on my mind. I was a quieter, not-so-smiley version of myself, and was hoping that my co-workers would forgive me for my slow-ishness and complaining spirit.
I ended up having to help a someone who has tried my patience before, and Sunday was no different. I worked with an attitude, complaining the whole time in my head: I shouldn't be treated this way, I am not needed over here, I am not going to help next time they call for it, I hate this department, and, well, you get the point. I went on like this for some time, even voicing some of my complaints to another co-worker. Then-

*NEWS FLASH*

Uh, hello, but have you forgotten that you have been forgiven much, for far worse offenses than asking for help the wrong way? How often do you take your relationship with Christ for granted, ungrateful for His sacrificial death (which should have been yours), disregarding His will for your life, denied and forsaken Him for your selfish wants? And yet, amazingly, He forgives you- overwhelmingly, abundantly, and lovingly. Will you not forgive a co-worker who has simply asked you to help them?

   As if this revelation wasn't enough, this parable of Christ came to my mind (working of the Holy Spirit, anyone?): 

Matthew 18:23-35  KJV

  Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents (equivalent to several million dollars). But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence (equivalent to a few dollars!): and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

I was thinking about this on the way home when Chris Sligh's song, Our Love, started playing. Here is the chorus:

Oh, we're all messed up

Oh, but isn't that the point of love?

We are, we are, we are all broken people

But we've been set free and loved

We are, we are, we are the chosen people forgiven much,

So where's our love, our love, our love?

It looks kind of awkward typed out, but it is an awesome reminder that we are just like everyone else, just forgiven and called to love like our Savior.

The lesson I learned is important, and I guess I needed to receive it more than once, since God used His Word, a song, and an experience to drill it into my hard head. We are forgiven- we should  need to forgive.

Thank You, Savior, for forgiving me, teaching me, and growing me. May my this life bring You glory this week!



I have been bought!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

*Bible Study Time*

Today I really thought about this verse, trying to dissect it, digest it, understand it fully. That's when it hit me: I didn't realize that I was for sale.

This thought stopped me and made me really think. And I came to this chain of reasoning: I had sold myself to sin, dead in my trespasses (Ephesians 2:1-3), lost to the father of lies, the devil. It was my choice to be lost in my sin. I needed saving, and I didn't even know it~ but God did (Romans 5:8).

So God sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, (who was willing to save me, Hebrews 12:2), to be the Perfect Sacrifice, and Payment for my sin (Romans 3:24-26).  I was bought by His innocent and holy blood, and because I have turned to Him and trusted in His work on Calvary, I BELONG to Him. My body, spirit, life, and whole are His. I am no longer my own. I never was my own. I was once captive to sin, but now -Praise His name!- I am to bring every thought and action captive to obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I have established the idea that I belong to Christ, but now what? Look back at the end of the second verse. I am to glorify God with every action and thought. That makes sense: if they belong to Him, they would glorify Him. Alas, it may make sense, but it is difficult to follow. God, in His plan, still allows us free choice, and too often I make the wrong choice. But because He lives in me (See verses at the very top of this post), I through Him have the power to make the right choice (Philippians 4:13).

So my challenge for you and myself today is this: to make the decision and conscious effort to remember and act upon these verses. We are not our own, and we need to glorify God in all that we think or do.

Fitting in isn't evertything...

I was crying.
Over something that I know isn't important, but I was giving it importance.
Fitting in.

   Looking back through my short life, I think that I have never really "fit in" any group. And looking back, I see that it didn't really affect me until high school. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home and godly church where emphasis was focused more on doing right than fitting in. I never had any "BFF's", and preferred to talk to the adult leaders over kids my own age (starting in preschool, or so my mom says... I was one different child), so I know that I didn't truly care about it then.
   In high school, however, we started going to a different church. I was no longer around the teens that I grew up with. This was a much larger class, more variety of personalities, and, unfortunately, more cliques. The first year or so it was hard to get out of my shell and comfort zone. There was a handful of individual girls (God bless them) that reached out to me and got to know me. Soon (I like to think that it was my doing... because I am prideful) I was the one getting to know other girls who were not in any groups or cliques and we would group together (not exclusively, mind you) and talk. That made it a somewhat better situation, because what brought us together was the fact that we were in the same spot~ individuals not included in any special clique (are you figuring out that I highly dislike cliques?), and not "Faithies" (aka, not going to Faith Christian, and had not grown up at Faith).
   Now I am in the college class. I have yet to see any "cliques", which gives me hope. Everyone is friendly and open. BUT, after Thursday night, I wonder if I will ever feel like I belong.
   I had planned to meet 2 freshman girls for ice cream and get to know them. You know, talk about college fears, plans, and just have some fun fellowship. As my last post identifies, things don't always go as planned. Only one of the girls showed up, and another group of 7 or so college students came as well. We ended up getting a "tour" of campus, during which I felt different from everyone else and wanted to go home (I would have, but I needed someone in the group to lead me back to where my car was. It ended up being a 10 min speed walk from location to destination.).
    Now, I am not blaming it on the other students~ they were having fun and trying to show us freshmen around. My freshman friend was having a good time, so I suppose the problem lay with me. Once I got home, I was an exhausted mess, and went crying to my mom about how I never fit in.  As I prayed that night, God brought to my attention that fitting in shouldn't be my goal. I should be seeking to serve Him and others~ NOT myself (which is basically what fitting in is). I also found comfort in the fact that I am His and belong to Him. Why should I seek to find my happiness and self-worth in a group of sinful humans, when the Creator of the universe and my very own Savior claims me as His own? The next morning my mom gave me a card (I love my mom) reminding me of that fact as well as reminding me that she loves me.
  
Hmph. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Next time someone asks where I'm going to college, I should reply, "The School of Hard Knocks".

When you think ya have it all planned out...

"What are your plans for this fall?"

(for the 500th time...) "I am going to be studying Medical Assisting this fall at Ivy Tech."

      I don't know exactly how many times I have answered a form of the above question the past few months, but this has been my answer almost word-for-word. Until Monday.
      I had been laying in bed Sunday night for a while when I started freaking out about my future (I know, me freak out? Never!). I really started to feel like I had made a huge mistake in choosing my major. Thinking that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life (okay, maybe not the rest of my life... still it felt like it) in the medical field. But I kinda felt like I had no choice now.  And besides, my mom had thought that it was right, and EVERYTIME in my life when I thought that I was right and she was wrong, guess who was wrong. ME.
     The next day we were antiquing (my word for shopping antique stores), and driving around searching for a desk for my room. I wanted to have an organized space for studying in my room this fall. Riding in the car makes a comfortable place for meaningful conversations, so I told my mom that I had been second-guessing my choice of major... and she agreed with me. That surprised me. Big time.
     The result of this conversation in the car led to me making an appointment with an academic advisor tomorrow. I think that I will change my major to Business Administration. But I have learned that things don't always go as planned.
     Savior, I am asking You to guide me in this decision concerning my future. You know me WAY better than I think I know myself, and You have the perfect plan for my life. So, I am asking that You open my eyes and give me the faith I need to follow Your plan.

Another Day, Another Lesson

You would think that once you learned a lesson the hard way, you would never make that mistake again. You would be wrong.

Saturday was a difficult day. I have been blessed to not have had many difficult days this year. But, being the the kind of person that I am (the "I can do it all myself" kind of person), I was trying to do two different jobs at work, and failing miserably (unfortunately, it took a while before I saw my failure... wishful thinking?). Just when I thought that I could do it all on my own, I realized what a mess I was making of everything. This was not a joyous revelation. Trying to keep back tears, I started praying (which I should have been doing all along). God reminded me of  Matthew West's song "Strong Enough". Here are the lyrics:

 "I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough.
Hands of mercy won't you cover me? Lord right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us."

 

Pretty powerful reminder.

So after sending a plea heaven-ward, and after texting my mommy (thank goodness for my mom~ she can make everything seem better!), the day went a little better. I placed it in God's hands, and finally asked someone for help. And ya know what? The day ended a whole lot better than it started!

I learned my lesson. Again. Hopefully this time, it will stick: because I am going back into work today...

*You can listen to a clip of the song "Strong Enough" on the Amazon music player an the top right of this blog :)

Days of Summer

Summer...
Every kid's favorite word. Summer is the definition of free time, games, relaxation, NO school, projects, or work. Spending all day doing absolutely nothing -  and loving it. This lovely word, summer, no longer holds such wonderful things when you have just completed high school. To tell you the truth (and why wouldn't I?), I was not looking forward to this summer - for after summer comes COLLEGE (<- this is a scary word). And during summer, I was going to have to go through some, uh, interesting changes. Like join the College class, carry a new position at jcp (I do love working there, really I do... most of the time), go on my first missions trip, and officially graduate from High school (all the way in FL... that's another story). But through wise leaders, caring parents, and, of course, some deep discussions with my Savior,  I believe that I am ready to take this giant leap into the unknown... because it really is not unknown. My Lord has had this planned for me since the creation of the world. And when I think of that, well... my fear seems pretty ridiculous.

All this free time (well, it is not a gigantic amount of free time...) has me going slightly mad - as in crazy. So I began the search for summer projects... and, boy, does the verse "seek and ye shall find" come true here. I have organized and re-contact-papered our kitchen cabinets, organized all the bookshelves, cleaned out under my bed (...this was quite interesting...), and did some much needed yard work. Lots of little jobs that kind of slip by in the grand scheme of things (like, work, school, and life in general). I believe that this will be my most productive, if not busiest, summer yet.